Well it's late and I can't sleep so I thought I'd hit you with some more thoughts on readjustment.

It's such a strange feeling...not easly to explain. There's a constant lowlevel weirdness about everything...not intense but just there.

Waking up in my own house and getting coffee in the kitchen is strange. Taking baths is strange. Being in the same room as family members or friends is strange. Looking for work is really strange.

The hardest part so far is visiting. Everyone wants me to do it, and so do I, but the timing is difficult. For the first time in years I'm having to think and plan weeks in advance.

This week I'll go to Lynchburg. Next week Fredericksburg. Maybe I'll swing up to DC while I'm there. My sister wants me to visit in September and I'm going to the Grand Canyon in the last part of that month. And when will I get a job again?

The visiting itself is exciting and great but the sad truth is there's no way to fit all the moments I want into these short trips, and then I'm stuck wondering when the next trip will be and what I'll get to say then. I never say what I want to. Either there isn't enough time or the words aren't there. Tough break after two years of thinking I knew everything I would say and when.

Ultimately I know there is time for everything and that time will stretch out over weeks and months and years. I know I don't have to worry...should ride the waves out and enjoy them as I go.

These first ones are rough ones though, and increasingly I'm feeling sand in my mouth.